Random Comments with PewTerFly
by SonicE1337
Summary: Star got bored, so now she's back on the Internet and ready to reply to any comment you can throw at her! Rated T for the mention of pornography.
1. Chapter 1

An image of Star appears in a bright filter, showing off her long and flowing hair in the wind of a beauteous meadow. A voice in the distance speaks, elegant and formal.

" _And now... Random comments, with Star Butterfly..."_

The scene changes to Star, sitting in her room in a lounge chair with her legs in a criss-cross position.

(Note: Comments are written in **BOLD** )

" **Star! My cat won't stop eating my turkey, any suggestions?"**

"Yes! Don't buy turkey!"

" **Allahu Akbar"**

Star is now wearing a Arab style robe and a thin towel is firmly wrapped around her head. She also has stubble on her face and an AK-47 in her hands. "What does that mean?"

" **STARCO 4 LYFE!"**

Star is now back to normal and points at the comment with a bright smile. "Oh my gosh! It's stupidity! I never thought I'd actually see it again! HI STUPIDITY!"

" **I have a request... Do not accept this request, do you accept?"**

"I feel like I've seen this somewhere before... Hmmmm, probably just Dejavu. And no! I don't accept!"

" **Welcome back! ;)"**

"Awww! Thank you! It feels so great to be back reading your guys idiotic comments! I missed it so much! And thanks for the winky face!" Star then does a very slow and obvious wink at the camera.

" **Can I see your porn?"**

Star hugs a folder with the words, "My Fantasies" written on it against her chest and hisses. "No! This is my porn! Only I can see it!"

Suddenly, Marco walks into the room with several hand drawn pictures of him and Star, but in rule 34 style. "Uhhh, Star? What are these?" Star responds by grabbing the pictures and slamming the door in his face.

" **Where's Janna?"**

"How should I know?"

" **I'm a teenager. Can I have some vampire romance plz?"**

Star responds by holding up a copy of Twi-light. "How's this?" She then holds a lighter under the book and it catches fire, slowly burning in her hands as a creepy and sadistic smile crawls unto her face. "That's what I thought..."

" **BURGER KING!"**

"What about it?"

" **Dear Star: This is your boss. If you don't respond to this message then I will send you to oblivion because I can do that with my Author Powers. Have a great day! -SonicELITE**

"Hi Mr boss dude! Thanks for the raise!"

Star is now floating on a platform her wand created, she looks at the camera with bright eyes, "Thanks for everyone who left a comment! This may be the first episode but that doesn't mean I don't have Facebook. Anyway! If you want to have your review replied to, then press that review button and type away! Also be sure to leave a follow and favourite! Love you all, Bye for now!

The voice from the beginning is heard once more, and piano music plays in the background.

"This has been... Random comments, with Star Butterfly..."


	2. Chapter 2

(Comments are written in **BOLD** )

A scene from Stars child hood plays with piano music. She is small and is cutting off the head of a combat dummy, when a majestic voice fills the ears of the reader.

" _And now... Random comments, with Star Butterfly..."_

" **Lol, at the end. Keep up the good work :)"**

"Thanks! Means a lot!"

" **Nice one. Keep up the good work. :)"**

"Again, thanks!"

" **STAAAAAAAAAAAAR! What's your real name?"**

"It's Rico... Don't ask."

" **Marco has glasses and a smoothing voice, Jackie has a cap and a voice that deafens gods, but what do you have that separates you from them?"**

Star brings her hands to her face a strikes the peace sign while nyan cat music plays and unicorns fly across the screen with "FABULOUS!" slapped in the middle.

Everything stops and turns back to normal with star giving a dead panned glare at the camera. "That's what."

" **Where are your wings?"**

"I'm saving them for season 2 and maybe season 3... If we're lucky."

" **If you became pregnant, would you give birth live or lay eggs?"**

"Neither! Because Mewman anatomy does not allow pregnancy to occur. It's more like a cloning sequence, you take some hair and a bit of blood, give it to a wizard and badda bing badda boom! You've got a child!"

" **Kiss someone!"**

"Who exactly?"

" **Bi or Hetero?"**

"Nothing against bi or hetero sexuals, but I'm straight."

" **Do you like fangs?"**

"No. They remind me of Twilight."

" **Taking into account your smoking hot mother and father, are the males of your species normally small, or is he a special case?"**

"What kind of a question is that? How should I know if the height of the male Mewman is below average!?"

" **What do you ship? I ship you and Marco!"**

"Why? No offense or anything, but we're just best friends that live together are bonded through the magic of the blood moon and can't really have fun without the other. So please tell me why you ship us? And to answer your other question, I ship everyone with everything. I'm a rule 34 magnet."

" **SAY THIS WITHOUT YELLING!"**

"Challenge accepted!"

A training montage begins and it shows Star taking singing lessons, punching a frozen cow and running up and down multiple steps. It continues for about four minutes before a sweaty Star sits back in her chair and clears her throat.

"SAY THIS WITHOU- _FUCK!_ "

" **What would you do if you saw Marco and Jackie kissing?"**

"Honestly, I'd pat Marco on the back and then beat the living shit out of Jackie. Don't ask why, I just will."

Well, that does it for today! If you liked then make sure to follow and favourite. And if you want me to reply to your review then don't be shy and leave one in the review section! Bye everyone!


	3. Chapter 3

(Comments are written in **BOLD** )

A slow-motion scene of Star sitting in front of a burning fireplace is seen with violin music to go with it.

" _And now... Random comments, with Star Butterfly..."_

 **Hey Star, I know something right up your ally, Charlie the Unicorn! That or Avenue Q, there's a song in that musical that goes "All The Internet Was Made For Porn"**

"I looked at both of those things. Charlie the unicorn is officially my favourite animated short ever. And that song describes everything wrong with the human race. But at least Kate got a say on what the Internet is."

 **Star Butterfly! One question! What do you think of a Time Baby!?**

"TIME BABY?! HE'S BACK! QUICK! HIDE YOUR WIVES AND YOUR KIDS!"

" **What is the one thing you love most about Marco?"**

"The fact that he's approachable and easy to talk to. It's not every day you find a guy like that."

" **So, for how long did you date Tom?"**

"Two years, from the age of Eleven to Thirteen."

" **You're a princess, which are usually good in fiction, but your mom's a queen, who are usually evil. Do you think she might be a part of some secret queen conspiracy?"**

Star pulls out a compact version of a magic mirror and starts talking to someone in a suspiciously private conversation. "Psst, Mom. I think someone's on to us!"

" **Kiss your parents!"**

"Why?"

" **Ship yourself with something!"**

"Alright!" Star pulls out her fantasy folder and grabs a censored picture of her and Marco. "How's that?"

" **Star, they say mirrors lead to an alternate dimension where everything's the same, but with some things different: for example, you would be the tidy and safety conscious princess while Marco would be an insanely energetic boy. Are you sure you're not contacting mirror counterparts of your parents, or anybody really, when you use your mirror?"**

"Please excuse me while I collect the exploded pieces of my brain."

" **Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring...guess the rest of the song."**

"Oh! I know this! It goes 'Beep, hello? Who is this?' right?"

 **Nice one. Keep up the good work. :)**

"Awww, thanks again buddy!"

In Marcos room, he is sitting on his bed reading and drinking a can of soda, when Star bursts through the door very loudly and causes him to hit the roof at the sudden scare. Star catches him as he falls and he gives her an annoyed look.

"Star! Why the heck did you do that?!" Star just looks at the camera and smiles brightly.

"Well! That's all for this video, if you liked then make sure to follow and favourite! And if you want to have your comment replied to then leave one in the review section! Bye everyone!"

The violin music plays again and that strange, elegant voice is heard.

" _This has been... Random comments, with Star Butterfly..."_

 _._

 _._

 _._

.

.

Marco closes the door to his room after getting Star to leave and goes back to his book. He sits there for a few seconds before noticing something uncomfortable beneath him, he sits up and looks at his mattress and sees a smiling Star. He shakes his head in annoyance before lying back down on top of her and starts reading again.


	4. Chapter 4

A gif of 9/11 is shown and over the screams of the thousands of people, a formal voice is heard.

" _And now... Random comments, with Star Butterfly..."_

Star is seen inspecting the roof and appears to be searching for something, "Where is that voice coming from?"

" **Question: Would you hang out with Sonic the hedgehog, and defeat doctor Eggman with him alongside with Marco?"**

"Well it depends on what version of Sonic your talking about. Is it the comic book version that's far more centred around swag and being an all around dirt bag but is serious when need be it, or the video game version where he's sarcastic and fun loving, making wise cracks at whoever he pleases and is always focused on the task at hand. Either way It's still be cool to meet him."

 **Star I dare u to kiss Marco on the lips**

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaamn stupidity! Back at it again with the stupid dares!"

 **Good one. Keep up the good work.**

"At least this guy leaves positive feedback. Thanks buddy!"

" **What is the meaning of meaning itself?"**

Star pulls out a dictionary and points her finger at the word 'meaning'. "What people try to create or find. A human condition in which they cannot exist in a meaningless state, even if they do live in a meaningless state, they need to pretend they exist in a world of meaning!"

" **Have you ever felt uncomfortable about the fact that everybody pretty much loved you instantly when you came to Earth?"**

"Yeah it was a little weird, but I guess that's what happens when you give forty pages of well drawn porn to each student!"

"Sorry if this episode is on the short side, but their weren't that many comments and. I was to lazy to make some up. Anyway, if you liked then make sure to leave a review so I can reply to it and also follow and favourite because that's an option. Bye everyone, stay FABULOUS!"

Swift cello music plays in the back and the voice from before speaks again.

" _This has been... Random co-"_

Star cuts off the voice by running around her room in a panicked craze, "Where the hell are you!? Show yourself mysterious voice!"

" _Gah! Seeyounexttimeeveryone!"_ and then the camera turns off.


	5. Chapter 5

This is just a quick apology for those who took my joke from chapter one in an offensive way, it was wrong on my part and I'm sorry if you were offended by it. Just for confirmation, I'm not Islamaphobic and I have no problem with anyone who is from another part of the world, I just didn't realize the statements racist potential at the time. Now that I've finished that, let's begin.

" _And now... Random comments, with Star Butterfly..."_

 **No está mal.**

 **Not bad.**

"Thanks! ...What's not bad exactly?"

 **When are you going to add to wands and weirdo's**

"Ask my boss, he runs that show. I'm use here to have fuuuuuuuuuuuun!

 **Chapter 1 clearly shows islamaphobia. Only a select few behave like that but we cannot call them Muslims. Also Allahu Akbar is only used in prayer. Sincerely, A well educated child.**

"Point taken, and thank you for being polite about the issue, it's much appreciated."

 **You're such an islamaphobic bitch! Just cos a person is Muslim doesn't mean they are violent in Anyway.**

"I didn't mention Muslims anywhere and I'm pretty sure your over-reacting a little, calm down please. Have a snickers!"

 **Would you sell your folder for Marco**

Once again, Star hugs her folder and hisses, "Marco is nothing compared to my porn!"

 **Describe yourself in one word**

"Didn't I answer this in chapter 2?"

 **Star what is your number one favourite fantasy in your folder**

"Pffft! Like I'd tell you!"

 ***From childhood to right now, what's been the hardest moment of your life?***

"The part when I killed that sweet and innocent Goat pig... Rest in peace goat pig!" Star holds up a photo of a goat pig and a tear falls down her cheek.

 ***Just where did your porn writing come out of?***

"You tell me Exotos, your my original creator."

 ***Star, bite me. I wanna become a superhero with butterfly powers!***

"I'll make an appointment, does 4:30 sound good to you?"

 ***Do you find any Disney sitcom tolerable?***

"Liv and Maddie is pretty cool, but it's not perfect like Good luck Charlie."

 ***I want to get a pair of dimensional scissors, but two things: how rare are they, and how do they work?***

"They aren't rare, pretty much everyone has a pair! And its kinda hard to explain his they work without talking about science, and I HAAAAAAAATE science!"

 **THE DARES! THE DARES! Keep up the good work. :)**

"I know right? Thanks again Bro! Stay cool!


	6. Chapter 6

**Piano music plays as a fireplace burns showing bright and glorious colours.**

" _And now... Random comments, with Star Butterfly..."_

 **This is a fun read! "Does Marco have any weird habits at home?"**

"Absolutely, he's always rushing to the bathroom with a magazine in his hands and then he comes out with this oddly satisfied look. I don't know what it means but it's really odd in my opinion. And thanks for the compliment! "

 **If you don't like fangs then why do you like Oscar?**

"Have you seen that guys eyes?! They are HEAVEN!"

 **What is your greatest achievement and good job with this**

"Well to answer your question, my greatest achievement was finally learning to tame wild unicorns in a matter of seconds, and thanks for the compliment!"

 **Have you met other dimensional travellers? Keep up the good work.**

"I've met plenty of dimensional travellers! I met pony head, I met... Uhhhhhh... Thanks buddy!"

 ***So, mewberty for females turn them into butterfly monsters. What happens to males who go through mewberty?***

"Well I don't know for sure since we usually keep mewbic civilians in containment, but according to this "Adult fanfiction" site, they turn in to various animals, ranging from lions to Tom cats."

 ***Star, remember that time when you tried to use pick-up lines for everyone?***

Star pushes away from her desk in fear, falling into the floor as the theme from "the x-files" plays. Star looks at the camera in shock and quietly whispers "How did he know?"

Marcos voice is heard from across the hall as he yells "Because he wrote the damn fic!" Suddenly the music stops with a comical gramophone squeak and Star yells in realization, "Oh yeah!"

 **So,I am a muslim and when I first read ur story and saw the "joke" in the first chapter I wouldnt lie but I felt it was a bit harsh but it didnt make me want to be mad or scream at ur face so thanks for actually clarifying that u didnt meen it the wsy some people did. So Im not thst mad and now im not mad at all.**

"Awwww! Thanks for not hating my guts buddy!"

 **Define fabulous**

Star goes to the urban dictionary website and looks at the definitions for fabulous. "Who the heck is PewDiePie?"

"Well! That's all for this chapter everyone! Sorry for posting late but my boss has been super occupied and apparently a friend asked him to do a really important favour, but he should be good in about a week or two. So I will see you all in the next chapter! Stay FABULOUS!"

Piano music plays in the background and that goddamn voice is heard again.

" _This has been... Random comments, with Star Butterfly..."_


	7. Just a random upload outta nowhere

**A/N: please excuse the formatting with line breaks in this chapter since the first few of these comments were written by Exotos135 and he can splat smelt use line breaks while I cannot.**

" _And now, random comments, with Star Butterfly."_

 _ **Is it me, or is Star vs the Forces of Evil a hiatus magnet? It's got the most hiatuses I've ever seen!**_

"Let me introduce you to something called Gravity Falls!"

"Oh, and Steven Universe!"

 _ **What's the difference between race and**_ _ **species**_

"That's easy: one's a bunch of people that form a common biological group, and the other is a simple point a to point b sport."

 **Socks with sandals!**

"*blushes* Well, we got a Casanova in here!"

 **Star's cheeks have replaced her heart.**

"Have they?!"

 **Can you cook?**

"Can I cook? Yeah! Can I cook well?...no."

 ***How sad will you be if Marco yelled at you for another girl, also how would you feel if he gets kidnapped the day after**

"These questions about Marco are oddly frequent... But to answer your questions, I would be pretty sad. I mean, he's my best friend so of course I'd be sad if he yelled, but if it's because he likes someone then that's fine. If he got kidnapped, then just re-watch 'Storm the Castle'."

 **Really enjoy reading these replies, keep up the good work yo**

"Thank you! So nice to see these positive comments."

 **Star here is a came first the chicken or the egg. I know theoretically the egg. Because dinosaur birds laid eggs and a genetic mutation caused them to become chickens but then how do you explain Humpty Dumpty?**

"Humpty Dumpty is fictional, you're argument is invalid."

 ***Why are you mewmans so obsessed with corn?***

"We're not obsessed, it was our only food supply during the Great Monster Massacre. So we eat it during the Mewnipendence day feast to properly re-live the sacred day."

 ***What do you think about hybrids?***

"There cool, but it really depends on what you mash together to make the hybrids. If your talking about a Prius then I'm going to hate it."

 ***Star, as a queen-in-training, which is pretty much still a princess, the danger of being kidnapped by a dragon exists. Has something like that ever happened with you?***

"Twice. But it was nothing to worry about, the dragon only received major injuries."

 **LOL. Just Pony Head? Comment of the day: Remember all the plotbunnies you did? Keep up the good work. :)**

Star falls off her chair again and shuffles backwards on her hands and presses her back against the wall in fear. "How did he know?" she whispers.

 **Is everyone magical on Mewni?**

"No. Only the wielder of the magic wand is magic, unless you're a magician." Star pauses for a moment. "Or The Real Travioly."

 **You would expect that this is a question, but it was I, DIO!**

"Good for you... What does that prove?"

 **Do you know what your calzone death future is?**

"Yes actually! I'm going to die of natural causes. Causes that I will not specify for certain reasons."

 **Two questions: who do you want to be president this year/do you know what a president is, and does Young Metro trust you? I NEED TO KNOW!**

Star holds up a flag with the inscription 'TRUMP 4 LYFE' and smiles at the camera. "You may not agree with me, but I don't care! And I don't know who Metro is."

 **Well no I haven't seen his eyes BECAUSE HIS GOD DAMN UGLY BANGS ARE IN THE WAY! What has been your favourite dimensions that you have travelled to?**

"Geez, calm down. It was just a question... But my favourite dimension would have to be the Bounce Lounge. It's a great place to have fun and be yourself."

Suddenly, PIANO MUSIC!

" _This has been, random comments, with Star Butterfly."_


	8. More Random uploads! YAY!

Star is taking pictures in Boston during a running race. After she's contempt with her pictures she smiles and throws the camera backwards into a explosive barrel covered in nails, causing a large explosion. (If you found this joke offensive, please tell me so I can apologize. And then I'll probably tell you to grow a spine.)

" _And now... Random Comments, with Star Butterfly..."_

 **Hi Star! You seem to be kinda evil in this story so you get a dark question. If you were in Mortal Kombat X what would your two fatalities look like?**

"That's a pretty tough question, I've slaughtered many types of monsters and demons, all in different ways. But if I had to choose just two, I'd go for reaching into the mouth with both hands and splitting the skull apart. And for the second one I'd take a bottle, break it over they're heads and stab at the face and chest over and over until there is no face."

A twisted smile forms on Star's lips and her pupils turn to slits, almost as if she was a new person entirely. "How's that for a fatality?"

 **Hey star! This is a serious question. Do you like marco even just alittle bit more than just a friend? If you say either yes or no, I PROMISE that I wont tell anybody. If you don't answer, "I WILL BURN BOTH PITIFUL DIMENSIONS AND MAKE YOU WATCH AS EVERYBODY YOU KNOW WILL BE ANNIHALATED MERCILESLY! Or just burn them alive. AS LONG AS YOU WATCH THEM BURN!**

Star gets up from her chair with a worried face and slowly starts to back away, leaving the room and closing the door. She comes back 20 minutes later with a crowbar and bottle of vodka in hand.

"You Starco shippers sure are persistent. But yes, I do like Marco more than a friend."

A long pause erupts...

"He's my _best_ friend."

 **You think my argument is irrelevant well I got a new one. It involves a chicken crossing a rode. I know it crossed a rode to get to the other side but why. Was he trying to run away from a predictor find food or now his fate "cough" "cough" kfc "cough" "cough" and go to the "other side" and if you say this one is fictional you don't know if it is I mean Mary had a little lamb was true why can't this one be either. By the way I like the show :)**

"Please excuse me while I go collect my recently exploded mind."

 **Silly question, then personal question, then serious question. First, at what age did you gain the ability/complete training for fighting monsters and winning? Because you kick a lot of ass. Next, what's your favorite color? Red like the blood moon, blue or teal like your favorite outfits and dresses, or something else entirely? Lastly, given your recent trip to the villages of Mewni, and your first-hand witness of the crumbling Mewman economy and infrastructure, how would you go about "Making Mewni Great Again!" as your favorite politician says. Keep up the good work!**

"Alright, in order: I learned to be a badass at the age of four, before then I was just meh at fighting. Next: I prefer a dark and solid Blue, it's pretty nice to see and wear. Finally: My home dimension has been crumbling recently, I know that much. But no one is actually complaining about living in that shithole so I guess I'll just wait till I'm queen to worry about it. And thanks buddy!"

 **Hey Star...do you know how many higher powers (aka Authors and Screenwriters) manipulate your life? Keep responding to these comments P-fly**

"Oh yes, just like you, young Smitty. Manipulating my life with simple typing of a keyboard. But it's not only you, I've seen all the Fanfictions that many people have made. Including this one."

Suddenly, SonicELITE bursts through the door of Stars room. "STAR NO! YOU READ THE FANFICTION YOU'RE IN RIGHT NOW!"

Star just shrugs, "What's the worst that could happen?"

Then the universe exploded.

 **Thanks for the reply!, appreciate it. But why trump? Also how do you think you could help marco to get to talk to jackie? i.e what advice will you give him And what's your idea of THE most perfect romantic setup. Again, thanks! Your replies never cease to amuse me**

"I was just kidding when I said I'd vote Trump, a lot of people took it seriously. And to help Marco? Pfft, he doesn't need me. Him and Jackie are destined to each other as their YouTube personas. And thank you! Your comments are always a delight!

 **Yare yare daze... Hey kid, are you some sort of a mini-witch cause you seem to be causing mass destruction underneath that grin of yours.**

Silence fills the room and Star looks to her left and right. Then she turns to the comment and points at herself.

"Are you talking to me?"

 **THIS IS AMAZING Keep up the good work :)**

"Thank you so much! Glad you like it!

 **Star... How could you support trump? Marco will be deported if he becomes president!**

"Dude/Dudette, I was just kidding. Trump can go eat the male genitalia of a horse for all I care."

 **STAR! YOU WANT MARCO TO BE DEPORTED? WHY TRUMP**

"Again, it was just a joke. I had an idea for April fools and I used it. It might've been late but who honestly cares?"

 **Ew Trump? Star has the worst taste ever! Does she WANT Marco to be deported?**

"How many Trump haters are there!?"

 **Lol. *What do you think about disembodied body parts?***

"They are my favourite delicacy. With some barbeque sauce, of course."

 **Have you ever been to a parallel universe, and if so what was it like?**

"Oh yeah! I met the gender swaps of me and Marco. Gotta say, I looked handsome as fuck."

 **Why do you like Trump? He hates Mexicans, and Marco is Mexican-American. You voting for trump is practically voting to move to Mexico.**

"What's wrong with Mexico? Are you saying Mexico is a bad place? Are you saying it's a bad place because there's Mexicans there? Cause that's racist.

 **Nice one. Keep up the good work. :)**

"Thanks bud! Glad to see your sticking around!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Alright everyone, that concludes another chapter. Sorry for the late upload, but Procrastination is a bitch. Until next time! STAY FABULOUS!

Remember that Piano music? Well it's playing again, believe it or not.

" _This has been... Random comments, with Star Butterfly..."_


	9. Meh

" _And now... Random comments, with Star Butterfly..."_

Star is sitting on her computer looking at a monitor. Her lights are turned off and she's wearing a black set of headphones with black trimming.

"How's it going everyone? My name is PewTerFly and welcome to another chapter of random comments! Today's chapter is a little different because thanks that little asshole Marcoplier, I'm going to answer comments AND play a horror game. Isn't that fan-fucking-tastic!?"

The boot up screen finishes and the monitor shows a dark room with a door wide open, showing the shape of an animatronic bear.

"This is "The Joy of Creation" by Nick! I'm ping to be playing the free-roam version because A) it's scarier, and B) BECAUSE FUCK YOU I'M PEWTERFLY!"

Star clicks on the start button and is greeted by a dark and desolate hallway, and a stick-like flashlight in her hand.

"I swear Marco, I'll get you back for this..."

 **Now look, I wasn't being racist, I'm Mexican, and yeah, it's perfect, but you live in a fake place so...**

"Huh? Is this about the Trump thing?"

 **Hello, Star Butterfly, princess of Mewni. I am here to tell you, I have sent assassins to Earth and are about to kill Marco and Oscar. Without your wand's powers, you can't save them both. So, choose which one They will spare. Would you choose to save Oscar, the one you want to give your heart to? The one you had eyes for since the day you met? The one you would fall in love with every single day? Or Marco, the one who knew the risks of being friends with you, but still chose you, the one who will cheer you up when your sad, the one who had always had your back through thick and thin? You may only choose one. Who ever you may choose, will change your life forever. You can only answer seriously. I'm not joking. -Toffee**

"Fuck you, kill them both! See if I care."

Suddenly a loud scream roast from the monitor as Freddy attacks Star's character, causing her to jump and scream like a little bitch.

"FUCK HORROR GAMES!"

 **Nice! Now one more question. What color is mewman blood? (sorry if I spelled that wrong) Is it red like human blood or is it all glittery and rainbow-y?**

Star is back to playing the game, though a little hesitant this time. And she runs around the map trying her hardest to stay the fuck away from Fazbear.

"I'm not entirely sure what the colour of my blood is, I've never actually been cut or bled before, so I'm going to assume its made of CHOCOLATE!"

 **Hi! I'm a potato that is somehow typing this review! Anyway, Star, what is your most favourite foo-AGHHHHH! SONICELITE WHAT ARE YOU DOING-AGHHHHHH! STOP EATING ME-HELP YOUR BOSS IS EATIN-beep***

"For Fucks sake Kyle! Control yourself!"

A teenage boy bursts through the door with a half eaten potato in his mouth. "Fuck off Star! It's this guy's fault for being the only food I love!"

 **...I'm so lost right now please specify, how the FUCK you're supposed to write porn. Smut, lemons I know of but writing porn? I'm very confused**

"It's very simple, first you find a porno! And then you type what happens! You understand now?"

 **Well, if that universe is broken there's still an infinite number of them left. Oh, and what 's your opinion on Rick and Morty?**

"I've never seen an episode of Rick and Morty, my TV doesn't have the right channels. So I'm gonna have to get ba-"

Freddy jump scares Star again, causing her to fall off her chair and sit there quietly.

"...For... Mother... Of Mewni... Will you please FUCK OFF FREDDY!? Honestly, fuck this game, I'm not playing it anymore!"

 **Hey, star! Remember the blood moon ball? I know you don't want to talk about it, but what if Marco wanted to finish the dance, since Tom ruined it. Would you like to finish the dance with him? It doesn't have to be romancy. Just asking if you wanted to.**

"Yeah sure, why not? He is a pretty slick Dancer."

 **Phonetically pronounce quesadilla! If you get it wrong, just remember that I have slaughtered hundreds on countless moons!**

"You realize I could just type Quesadilla and it would pass, right? You're reading a fanfiction bro... And for all those fucking morons out there, it's ke-sa-dee-ya! Not Ke-sa-dilla! Jesus!"

 **Star, Marco...when I was about your age and saw the painting of Mona Lisa with her hands on her lap for the very first time, I may be rude but... I had a boner...**

"Good for you, you're exploring your sexual interests. Even if they are pretty odd."

 **Nice one here. Keep up the good work.**

"Thanks! You guys are awesome y'know?"

 **Very good one here pal! Keep up the good work.**

"Thanks! Glad I'm not boring you guys to death."

 _"This has been... Random comments, with Star Butterfly..."_


	10. Chapter 10

Star is seen standing at a podium with hundreds of thousands of people cheering her name, holding signs and wearing shorts that praise her. Star herself is wearing a nearly pressed suit, with a toupee on her head that looked like a dead ferret.

"We need to save this economy! Mewni used to be a place of joy and acceptance, now it's a place where people fear for their lives! We need to make Mewni great again!"

The crowd cheered even louder. Then a random and elegant voice echoed throughout the area.

" _And now... Random comments, with Star Butterfly..."_

Star stares into the crowd, "NOW MY PEOPLE! GIVE ME YOUR COMMENTS!"

One person from the crowd screams, **"Hey Star, you better get some bleach going because it about to-BLEAUGHHHHHHHHHHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *Vomit rainbow all over the review section*"**

"Sir please, it is unnecessary for this kind of behaviour, GAURDS! ESCORT THIS MAN OUT"

Several large bouncers proceed to drag a kid out of the area, a trail of rainbow-vomit following.

" **If you have thirteen yellow octopuses and eight red trucks, how long will it take for Dixie to remember she has eleven shoes and four pairs of pants?"**

Star points towards the roof, suddenly sprouting a beard and hairstyle of an Internet celebrity, "I have several questions!"

" **Can a match box?"**

"Fuck-if-I-know dude/dudette."

" **Quesadilla is pronounced "kuh-sah-duh-luh". You fail. Also, do you prefer chicken quesadillas or chipotle quesadillas?"**

"Wrong, you fail. I am by all accounts correct, in fact, let the commenters decide! Post a comment saying how Quesadilla is pronounced. And I prefer Chimi-changas!"

" **Hmmmm. So, you don't care if Marco and Oskar die? Hehehe. Toffee's gonna pay me double. Ha! And you say you're not a monster, but you sure are as heartless as one. Now, choose, who shall I spare. Oskar or Marco?"**

Star looks at the commenter with a dead-panned glare, then proceeds to take out a gun and glow they're brains out. "PROBLEM SOLVED!"

 **Star how will you give some payback against Marcoplier? Will you make him kiss your ass?**

"No... Why would I do that?"

 **Ih Star! Od ouy wonk tahw Danny Phantom si? Fi ton neht teg Margo,a vt,nrocpop,chuoc,dna hctaw ti! Sknaht. PS:3 hi and I'm writing backwards And your boss should write a crossover on you and DP bye!**

"First off: I have heard of Danny Phantom, and I find it very enjoyable."

Suddenly, the author takes the mic from Star and looks at the commenter, "Secondly: No. I do not write cross-overs."

" **Hey, did you know that Oskar is 16 years old? Keep up the good work."**

Star takes the mic back, "Is that so? Well, fuck me then! And thank you!"

" **When will you be able to fly with your mewberty wings? Also, how long will it take for you to fly all around the world with it?"**

"I don't know, nor do I plan on caring! It'll happen when it happens!"

The crowd continues to roar with comments and cheers, however, Star holds up her hands and gestures for everyone to settle.

"Unfortunately, that is all the time I have. I will be back soon, but for now... I must go!"

Star then throws down a smoke bomb, and once the smoke disperses, she is no longer there...

" _This has been... Random Comments, with Star Butterfly..."_


	11. Chapter 11

Star is sitting in her room, at her desk with a sandwich in her hands. That is all.

" _And now… Random comments, with Star Butterfly…"_

" **Fuck you. Islamophobic prick."**

"I suppose you didn't read chapter 7 then, the one where I apologized about the remark I made in chapter one. I suppose this is why you used a guest account as well, so I couldn't remove the comment and you could have everyone think I'm an islamaphobic piece of shit racist. There's two sides to every coin asshole, try to learn the full story before you make accusations like that."

" **I actually like the "Kah-sah-duh-luh" pronunciation..."**

"Uhp-buhp-buhp! The question was, which is correct, not which you prefer. Easy mistake though."

" **This is truly amazing"**

"Glad your enjoying!"

" **Star, I dare you to invite Blossom from Powerpuff Girls over, and go to this place called TeleTubbies,ya know, with your magic, and see who can go longer without freezing the whole place to bits!"**

SonicELITE sits at his desk quietly, a coffee mug in his hands, freshly made. "They want a crossover… why do they want a crossover?"

Star shakes her head in disappointment at the author, "Why did I decide to work with you?"

" **The laws of this reality is different from the laws of your dimension, meaning that you are influenced by your own reality. So if that's the case, doesn't that mean you're bending the laws of our reality? This universe is like a pond. You can make a ripple, but it always calms down. Meaning one day, the anomaly, in this case you, since your reality has different "magical" statistics which are inaccessible or incomprehensible by our reality, doesn't that mean at some point, both universes will "reverse" in order to return their own statistics of their own reality? So are both dimensions caught in a time/space loop? Where the reality is the same, no matter what happens?"**

"This is why we have an infinite amount of dimensions to travel through. Reality was forced to bend itself so much that to not collapse, it needed to create a way to have anything and everything done all at once, so then came the aspect of time. No two realities are the same, each one has its own laws and limitations. So no, they are never the same."

Star then places an old fashioned Tobacco pipe in her mouth and puffed a few clouds. "Yes… quite."

" **(Eeeeeekkkkkk) ym svtfoe ipnes sah deciton em! KNAnt ouy os hcum. (Glitch activate) One:plz but this in backwords thx (question) Do u know wut Stargo,Animal jam, or when more eps of svtfoe will come out? Thx. (Glitch over) ko xht a tol eyb. ~Wulf2.0"**

"Er'ouy emoclew! Glad your enjoying, and as for your questions, Season 2 on July the eleventh! As for the Starco, I'll have to get back to you on that."

" **Lol. Keep up the good work.** **"**

"Thank you!"

" **YOU'RE GETTING YOUR SECOND SEASON! YAY! Keep up the good work.** **"**

"WHAT THE HECK IS A SMOOCH BUDDY!?"

" **Sometimes I question humanities intellective capabilities."**

"Sometimes I question eBay. Isn't that the same?"

" **Why was Glossaryk vomiting behind a weasel?"**

"I'm guessing you saw the new promo then. My guess is that the weasel is someone's pet, and Glossaryk was just on another pudding hangover. It happens more than you think."

" **The shipping is strong with this one…"**

Star is now wearing a robe and holding a mop like a light saber, She then points her hand at her folder of fantasies, which causes it to levitate and float into her hand. "You have taught me well master…"

Star pushes her chair away from her desk and sighs in relief. "Another chapter done, another day to absolutely fuck the world in its ass with my magic. Maybe I'll destroy a few buildings on "accident" and then go to that Chinese place to get some fortune cookies so I have an excuse to destroy even more stuff!"

She then turns to her camera and notices is still recording. Her face gives a monotone glare that showed absolutely no expression.

" _This had been… Random comments, with Star Butterfly…"_


	12. Finale

**All jokes made in this series were never meant to be taken seriously. That includes this chapter.**

" _Well ladies and gentlemen, it's about time we came to a close with this series. Star has officially grown sick of these comments and wishes to move on with her life."_

Star then walked into the room, her hands clasped behind her back and a somber expression preached upon her face. "That is correct, random mysterious voice. Now I shall be breaking away from the YouTube business. If you don't like it, well to bad. Now let's get into these final comments, shall we?"

Star looks towards the roof, giving a nod to nothing. Then the mysterious voice is heard.

" _And now... Random comments, with Star Butterfly..."_

 **Ever hear of a show called RWBY? It's pretty good, you should watch it. Just, try to avoid Volume 3. It plays with your emotions before crushing your hopes and dreams**.

Star immediately perks up, as if back to normal and reads the comment.

"I'll tell you what, I'm not actually interested in any of that anime or manga stuff. But if you say it's that good, I might just check it out."

Star gives the camera a dead panned glare and mumbles, "You Weaboo..."

 **Please finish the dance with Marco. That prick tom ruined everything!**

"Now listen, it's not that I don't want to dance with him. It's just the fact that maybe I _don't want to dance with him._ "

 **Starship, say you'll marry me! Say no, and I might have to murder your little bodyguard, AND every single drawing you've ever drawn**

"Go to hell Tom!"

Jackie, who was sitting behind Star, bangs on a drum set. Making the "Buh Dum Tss" noise. Star gives her a quick point and smiles. With Jackie doing the same.

 **10/10 good job dude/dudet**

"Thank you. You are to kind humble sir/madahm."

 **Hey Star, you know what's on the Menu? Me-n-u. Hmm, gigantic spider's menu are weird.**

"You're lucky you added that part about the spider, otherwise I would've reported this as a sex offense."

"And I'm pretty sure Ludo would like to talk to you about that spider."

 **Ok fine. Kusahduhlah is the correct pronunciation.**

"If that is your belief... Then I am not one to question it."

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"Even if it's _**FUCKING WRON-"**_

The chapter then cuts out to the next comment. For the purpose of not having a flame war about a damn taco.

 **Good as always. Keep up the good work.**

"Thank you! I'm glad I'm able to end this series with some positive feedback!

 **Are you and Marco SMOOCH BUDDIES?! Keep up the good work.**

"I'm not sure, why don't you find out in the seventh episode of Star Vs! Only after 3 hiatus' and 6 delayed broadcasts, here on Disney XD! And thank you!"

" _Now onto comments... FROM FACEBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!"_

 **Why are you such a Weeb?**

"The same reason you're a virgin."

A bunch of explosions go off as stars kicks herself away from her desk with a "Mic Drop" hand gesture, With Marco, Jackie and Janna screaming "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!" in the background. Then a million horns sound with Dorito chips and mountain dew falling from the sky, and an ogre appearing on screen with the words "Get Shrekt" captioned above. Then everything stops and returns to normal. Marco then folds his arms like a badass and whispers...

"Shots fired."

 **You're not bad, but are you bad?**

Janna pushes Star out of the way. She has grown a majestic and patchy beard with long flowing locks of black fur placed upon her head, all held together underneath a cap. She then points to the roof and says, "I have Several questions!"

 **Why would you make YouTubers out of a cartoon?**

"Technically, I didn't. These guys here-" Star points to Marcoplier, Jackiesepticeyes, JannaTron and herself, "-were all created by Exotos135. Except for Janna, I think she was the spawn of a suggestion."

Janna then waves happily at the camera.

 **Do you have any original characters/YouTubers?**

"Yes I do! Have you all met Fergoraptor? How about AlfanossGaming? Or maybe even Sabrinision? Really, none of them? Wow..."

"Well! I guess that's all the time I have got for comments. Hopefully you all enjoyed the final instalment of this series and if you did, make sure to slam a hand down on that favourite button and to follow my boss for letting me leave this hell hole! So long Everybody!"

All of the crew waved their hands goodbye, and in unison they chanted.

"Aaaaaaaand were the Game Grouches!"

" _This has been... Random comments, with Star Butterfly..."_

 _._

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 _._

Jackie looked over at the recording equipment layed out on Stars desk. Then she called into the hallway, "Hey Star! What are you gonna do with all this recording stuff?"

Star replied with "Oh, I'll probably just throw it away. It's not like anyone else would want it. Unless you do, that is?" Upon hearing that, Jackie's face twisted into a frightening smile and she closed her hand around the necklace on her neck, which held a small green eyeball. Then the screen faded to black...


	13. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't

In the darkness of Marco Diaz's bedroom, sits Star Butterfly. She brings herself forward into the light, somehow having grown a full out beard that you only see on a Swedish Viking.

"Hello internet! I'm back again, because E1337 over there decided that he was bored and wanted to torment me some more. It's been almost a year since I replied to anyone's comments, and I think that maybe we should brush off the old piano and start off with that famous jingle. Take it away, mysterious disembodied voice!"

Soft and classy piano music played, filling the room. Then, a random voice that seemed to emanate from all directions spoke.

" _ **And now... Random Comments, with Star Butterfly..."**_

Star nodded her head nostalgically. "God, I really missed that opening."

" **Don't worry about the Islam joke, the only people who would care don't even follow politics, let alone logic."**

Star raises a finger in question, squinting her eyes in suspicion. "Okay, now hold on. Politics, I can understand, but logic? Are you saying it's logical for Islamic people to be terrorists? Are you saying that Islam is just a bad country all around? I think someone here might be a wee-bit of a racist! Wouldn't you say, folks?"

" **Ending huh? Keep up the good work!"**

"I can always count on you for some positive reinforcement Finn, you too dude! As for the ending, forget it, it's gone. Never existed. I'm back, and I'm probably gonna vanish again but I'm here right now and that's what matters, alright!? Now stop questioning me and enjoy my attempts at comedy goddammit! This shit ain't easy, yknow?"

 **"Game Grouches... Lol. Good work and nice finale."**

Star then went wide-eyed, a small smile spreading across her face. "I pleased my creator... Thank you sir..." she said, wiping a single tear from her eye.

" **Well, this thing had a good run. Congratulations on finishing the series, keep up the good work!"**

"It did have a good run, didn't it? It's a shame that I couldn't leave sleeping dogs lie, huh? Just have to keep beating that dead horse, y'know?" Star then looked out over the horizon, seeing the beautiful oceans and sky, baskets in fading sunlight as she pondered her life.

"...How did I get out here again?"

" **But no piano music ;-;"**

"Pianos are expensive. Deal with it or leave."

" **Oh goodness, I win!"**

Star stood up from her chair, miraculously back in the Diaz house. "Like hell you do! I can't exactly remember what we were arguing about, but I will defend it to the death! Get in the octagon with me and we'll see who's the real winner, huh? I'm like a magical McGregor!" she said flailing her arms from side to side for no apparent reason.

She then sat back down, grabbing a nearby cup of tea. "Well, guess that's all the comments we have for now, huh? Now remember audience, if you want me to respond to you, just leave a comment down below, and if you're feeling ballsy, favourite and follow this fic. It's not like you have a reason not to."

Piano music the players once more ominously. The disembodied voice returning once more.

" _ **This has been... Random comments, with Star Butterfly..."**_


	14. This is still a thing

In the darkness of a tender sunset, Star Butterfly is seen staring over the lowly town of Echo Creek. Watching as impeding vehicles drive through the streets, some with headlights on, some without. The serene beauty of it all was breath-taking, but Star could not help but feel her mind ponder other events. Her life was crashing down, having to resort to making silly half-hearted responses to comments in order to stay relevant under the eyes of her boss. It was demeaning. Infuriating...

She felt the touch of someone's hand fall into her shoulder, she turned, and saw Marco Diaz standing along side her. Without shifting his gaze from the view of Echo Creek, Marco dilly spoke.

"It's time. We need to get ready, before he wonders what we're doing."

Star did not move, only sighed, closing her eyes and thinking of the torture to come. "We'll do it here." She said. "I don't want to abandon this view. It's calming to me. Like a beacon of light in a cave of cold, putrid darkness."

Marco nodded. Then, from the distance, he could hear the soft sounds of piano music playing. The classical tune was played beautifully, the placement of each note was master fully hit with skill and etiquette. Yet the tune brought him sadness.

"And now..." he whispered, a tears sliding down his cheek. "Random comments... With Star Butterfly..."

 **"Are you actually from Mewni?"**

"Well kiddo, if my parents were born in Mewni, got married there, did the deed of life making there, gave birth to me there and raised me for most of my life there, and it turned out I _wasn't_ from Mewni? I'd have a lot of questions, mostly about your IQ points."

" **Hey, you're back! Keep up the good work** **"**

"Unfortunately so, young Finn. But Alas, I will stay strong... It this is what it takes to be relevant amongst E1337's fans, then I shall stand the test of time against this torture. For the better, or for the worse..."

The world faded to silence, the soft sway of wind being the only noise to reach anyone's eardrums.

"Oh, and thanks dude, really appreciate it!" Marco chimed in, earning a glare of anger from Star for ruining the moment.

" **That would be my exact response to someone telling me they've won."**

"Won what? I don't remember any winning of any kind. All I remember is something about your opinion being invalid on something, something related to Marco, I think..."

"Hey, isn't that kinda racist?"

"How can it be racist if I don't know what I'm being racist about?"

Marco thought about that for a second. "Huh... You've gotta point there. Carry on then."

"Gladly."

" **iT's EvEryDay BrO wiTh ThE DiSNeY ChANNeL FlOw."**

"Your memes are outdated and rather autistic if you ask me. So to oblige to your mentally challenged demeanour, enjoy the sound of my people."

Star then let in a deep breath through he nose, holding it in her lungs before releasing it all at once in one massive screech.

" _REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-"_

And it continued for sometime.

Marco then shook his head, feeling as though his eardrums had burst in a comical fashion. Over Stars screaming, he yelled to the audience.

"Thank you all for sticking around to the end! We hope to see more comments as time goes on! Remember that all insults or opinions made in this fanfiction are satire, and should not be taken seriously in the slightest! Until next time!"

Star still screamed autistically, but the sound seemed to fade out over time, even though she still screeched hard. Her screeches were then over run by some piano music, and a mysterious, ominous voice.

" _ **This has been... Random comments, with Star Butterfly..."**_


	15. I swear these are getting worse

Star Butterfly bursts in on the scene, pimp'n some sick yeezys and polarized sunglasses. She walks into Marco's bedroom, swinging her gold chains and rocking a backwards cap like some kind of vanilla-ice impersonator, and she drops to the floor, hittin it with that _Yeet_ and so on. I'm pretty sure you can't get more pop-culture than that folks. Oh wait! Yes you can! SonicE1337 turns snaps his fingers and Star's hair in now in dreads and half of it is dyed red.

Star then waits for her boss to leave, making sure the door is closed before standing up, rather annoyed. "Of all the shit I have to deal with, and now that fucker turns me into some kind of rapper? I ain't having none of that shit." She then taps her head with her wand and she's back to her normal self. "That's better! Now, ominous voice, do your thing! We're on a clock here!"

" _ **Oh, goodness, you're right sorry."**_

Gracious piano music then filled the atmosphere.

 _ **"And now... Random comments, with Star Butterfly..."**_

" **Favourite Meme?"**

"Now we're getting into the real questions! But while I love memes with my heart and soul, it's kind of hard to pick a favourite right now, but I'd have to say that I'm really liking the _'Distracted_ _Boyfriend'_ stock image meme. It's really got some great edits, it's a shame it's dying out..."

Marco then appears out of nowhere, arms crossed and nodding his head in agreement.

"Ah, I see you're a woman of culture a-" Star then struck him with a lightening bolt.

"That memes dead! Doesn't matter how great it was, it's dead now!"

" **Do Mewman pigs have feelings to?"**

"That really depends if you're vegan or not. But I'm not, so I'd have to say no. Thankfully though, mewman pigs also come into tofu flavours! For those motherfuckers out there who actually give a shit about the food they eat."

" **Hey Star, ever hear of a show called Red vs Blue? And no, it's not about politics."**

Star stands up from her chair, an unsettling smile on her face. "You think you're funny? Huh? Do ya? You know how long it takes me to come up with the jokes for this worn out and tired fanfiction? Tell you what, how about you come and sit in the chair for once, huh? You do my job. Then you'll know what it's like."

Marco then butts in rather frightened. "Uhhh, what about the q-question?"

"Huh? Question? The fuck you tal-Ohhhh! Right, right, sorry." Star composes herself and sits back in her chair, coughing into her fist. "Right! About your question. No, I haven't seen red vs blue, but it sounds interesting, so I might go and check it out. Thanks for the recommendation!"

She then turns away from the camera, "I swear to God if it's another fucking anime..."

" **Is Marco secretly a lizard man?"**

Star leans in close to the camera, whispering quietly to words it. "I've been researching this for quite a while and while I don't have any solid proof, I do suspect he might. This stays between us though."

Meanwhile, Marco, who was minding his own business has a fly pass by his ear. Quick as a ninja, his tongue shot out and pulled the fly into his mouth. Star's eyes were wide with shock. Marcos eyes were blinking sideways. My eyes hurt because I'm typing this at 1 in the morning.

"Thank you to everyone who left a comment, and remember, if you want to have the opportunity to show up here, just leave a review and we'll respond to it. Next time I'm forcing Marcoplier over there to get in on the action, since he hasn't done anything for his fanbase in over a year and a half. See you later!"

Piano music once again filled the atmosphere, and the ominous voice returned once more.

" _ **This has been... Random Comments, with Star Butterfly..."**_


	16. Kaijus and stuff

Marco is forcefully shoved down onto his bed, fear and worry in his eyes. His head twists quickly, trying to find a way to escape as his heart races. Before him stands Star Butterfly, a seductive look in her eyes and a pair of handcuffs dangling by her finger and thumb. She struts over, her walking cycle being eerily sexy and frightening at the same time. Marco continues to panic, hyperventilating to the most extreme of levels.

"Don't worry Marco, it won't hurt a bit..." She says, breath seething through her teeth.

"No! You can't make me! I won't! This has to stop Star!" he cries, tears beginning to form in his eyes. Star ignores his pleas and then puts the handcuffs on him, but not without resistance from the Latino, as he kicks and yells.

She then leans in next to his ear, her breath tickling Marco, as she licks her lips hungrily. "This is going to be fun..." she whispers playfully. "So let's get down to business Marco..."

Sliding her hand down Marco's body, he closes his eyes, tears still falling with a quivering lip. She puts her palm on his leg, grasping it firmly and reaching into his pocket. Marco yelps with fear, only to be hushed by Star, holding her finger to his lips. "Just let it happen Marco, this is what the people want..."

She pulls out his phone, revealing the review section for this fanfiction. "Now quit being a bitch, and let's reply to some comments."

Marco sighs with frustration, giving in to Star's wish. "Fine... But if this ever happens again, I swear on my life I'll end you."

Piano music then fills the air, soft and serene.

" _ **And now... Random Comments, with Star Butterfly... Featuring Marco Diaz..."**_

" **Can you see into the future?"**

"No I cannot, my boy. I'm not sure Marco can either. Tell you what though, when I can, I'll be sure to tell you first."

Marco just shakes his head at the camera, "Sorry dude. I'd love to be able to see into the future, but right now, all I've got are these calzones that'll tell me how I die." He reveals the blueberry flavoured pastry, then takes a bite. After having a moment to enjoy the taste of the treat, the dessert speaks up.

"Star Butterfly is going to slit your throat, severe all of your limbs and burn the corpse."

Star then knocks the pastry out of his hand, letting out a nervous chuckle. "Must be defective."

Marco swallows hard. The calzone talks once more. "By the way, that's going to happen tomorrow."

" **Is the piano music playing Billy Joel or Mozart?"**

Marco pops his head out from behind a large grand piano, wearing a fashionable tuxedo and tie. "It's actually Michael Bublé. He makes some great stuff, really." He then plays _'Save the last dance'_ extreme elegance, something far beyond what a fourteen year old should be able to accomplish.

"Huh" Star scoffs, amazed. "Guess that solves the piano music mystery. Still gotta find out who the hell that voice is though."

" _ **You ain't gonna find out anytime soon, I'll tell you that much, ya dumb bitch."**_

Star then gives the middle finger to the air.

" **Before I ask my question, I would just like to clarify Red vs Blue isn't an anime, it's the longest running web series of all time, older than YouTube even. Basically, it's a bunch of morons on color divided teams fighting in a boxed canyon in the middle of nowhere, only to get wrapped up in several government conspiracies and villainous plots. As for my question, you seem prepared for bear attacks, and most people have a zombie plan, what's your and Marco's contingency plan for a kaiju attack (instead of using Godzilla for an example, I'll use one that isn't well known amongst non kaiju fans, Destroyah)"**

"Quick reference for later" Marco pipes in, "Keep this shit short and to the point. Makes it all the more frustrating for people like us when we have to copy it down, since copy and paste likes to be a bitch in Microsoft Word."

Now it was Stars turn to talk. "Again, thanks for the recommendation, but I really don't care if it's an anime or not. Satire is satire, so you didn't need to go out of your way to explain what the show was like a Wikipedia article. It doesn't make me anymore interested in the show, and if I wanted to know more about it, I'd research it myself. Now to the question."

"That's right!" Marco chimed. "We do actually have a plan for a kaiju attack, and it nearly blew the budget for the show. No spoilers, but you'll get vibes from other shows like _Power Rangers_ , _Voltron_ or _Attack on Titan._ Too bad you'll have to wait for season 4 to see it though, huh?"

Suddenly, Stars wand started beeping. She looked into it and saw Alfonso, prepped in some spandex. "Star! Marco! We need you! The world's under attack from a generic bad guy with God like powers!"

Marco clenched a fist. "Time to go monster mode!" he then but into his thumb, drawing blood. With a massive explosion of lightening, his body started to morph, purple scales replacing his skin. His limbs grew and his fingers fused into a large tentacle, the morphing then spread to the rest of his body, where his teeth sharpened, his eyes faded to white and his tongue lengthened, drooling down the side of his face. He began to grow to an extraordinary size, breaking through the roof of his room. With the transformation complete, he looked out to the distance like a badass, only go have the world come rely destroyed because the transformation took so damn long.

" **For Marco: Do you think it was a coincidence you and Star found eachother?"**

With Marco back in his normal, human state, he sat down in a chair with his hands clasped.

"I'll be honest with you kid, I don't think it was a coincidence in the slightest. Stars a reckless kid, and without me, she wouldn't be able to develop as a character. All the other characters in this show are brain dead twats, except for Tom and Janna, but they're just as care free as Star is! Therefore, the gods summoned me to show her the ways of the world and to make sure she didn't destroy the earth on accident. Plus there's also that blood moon situation, where only soulmates are chosen to be bonded. You think that's a coincidence? Cos I sure as hell don't."

Piano music then filled the atmosphere once more, and Star spoke up.

"Alright, well that's all the comments for this chapter. We hope you enjoyed and that you'll keep leaving more comments in the future. And remember that if you want to be featured, just leave a review down below, and we'll see you next time!"

 _ **"This has been... Random Comments, with Star Butterfly... Featuring Marco Diaz..."**_

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Star is removing Marcos handcuffs, throwing them off to the side. "Try not to be such a wuss next time, we gotta do this shit to get paid, remember?"

Marco blinked a couple times. "You get _paid_?"


	17. WEEABOOS EVERYWHERE!

There's no overly complicated intro this time, it's just Star, walking into Marco's room, sitting herself down in a swivel chair, opening Marcos computer and looking for the reviews to last chapter. "Well, guess it's delving into the world of more comments we go. This job is really starting to show its negatives these days... Maybe I can get a pay raise if I do a good job..."

Marco plays his grand piano, reciting _'Everything'_ by Michael Bublé.

" _ **And now... Random Comments, with Star Butterfly..."**_

" **Too sad, Marco won't be appearing in the next episode... Or any other episodes, for that matter. Keep up the good work** **"**

Marco peeps his head out from behind his grand piano, squinting in annoyance. "So you're gonna pretend I don't exist huh? I see how it is. Doesn't matter anyway, because I ain't going anywhere!" he states confidently, folding his arms with a smug grin. He then proceeds to fade out of existence.

Star blinks a couple of times, before sighing in frustration, revealing the large machete in her hand. "Today was the day too..."

" **Who do you like most?"**

"Depends on your definition of _like_ , my boy. If you mean friend like, then Marco, however if you mean love-interest like, then canonically, it's still Marco. Since this fic ain't canon though, I gotta say that Ferguson's been looking a lot like a snack recently." She bites her lips. "If you catch my drift." Then a couple of winks to the camera.

" **(I'm still shortening this cause God damn boy, to the point please. I don't mean to be a dick but damn.) Do you think you'll stumble across a parallel version of your world, one that is nearly identical but with a slightly different history?"**

Star slaps on a philosopher hat and monocle, taking out a smoking pipe and lighting it. "It is safe to say that if I did manage to find a world that was identical to this, I would spin my ass around and get out of there. Could you imagine the consequences of entering such a reality where nearly everything is identical? It could very well rupture the space time continuum. If I saw myself, the world would tear itself apart trying to form to exact replicas of one thing. And I mean _exact._ Down to the last electron exact." She blows out a stream of smoke. "Yes... Indeed..."

" _ **This has been... Science and philosophy, with Star Butterfly..."**_

 **"** **マルコがあなたに襲いかかったら、あなたは豚肉を食べますか** **?"**

"First off, fuck you for making me go and translate this shit. Second off, what does pork have to do with Marco attacking me? Third off, yes. Now go learn some English ya damn weaboo!"

 _(Again, all of this is satire. Don't like it? Don't read the fic, because this is what happens to everyone.)_

" **What are you're thoughts on abridged anime?"**

Suddenly, a loud siren blares to life, flashing red and screeching rather loudly with the words "ONII-CHAN" taking up half of the screen of Marco's computer.

"Oh god! It's the Weaboo alert!"

 **"Is the voice Morgan Freeman?"**

The weaboo alert shuts down for the moment, and everything returns to normal.

"Listen kid, if I had the budget to get Morgan Freeman in this shitty fanfiction, I'd do it right away, no questions asked. Instead we got the budget version, which is Patrick Stewart. Or what _sounds_ like Patrick Stewart anyway..."

 _ **"Like I said last time, you ain't gonna find out who I am anytime soon woman. Quit harassing me about it."**_

Star, again, gives a middle finger to the air.

Marco fades back into existence, still looking smug. He then sees Star turning off the computer and giving the 'its over' sign. He shrugs non-chalantly and then plays the rest of his song from the beginning.

" _ **This has been... Random Comments, with Star Butterfly..."**_


	18. Adolf Butterfly?

In the glorious exchange of fisticuffs between Star and a bear, loud and powerful orchestral music fills the air, signifying the pure epicness of the situation as the two fought, matching skills blow for blow. Never before had this kind of battle taken place in the history of probably ever, and whilst the duel took place, the ominous voice that haunted Star spoke once more, his voice stronger and prouder than ever.

" _ **Ladies and Gentleman! Welcome to FIGHT NIGHT! Where we determine the best battlers by placing the-"**_

"Yo, God voice, or whatever you are! The bears dead!"

" _ **What!? How? There's no way!"**_

There stood a scratched and scarred Star, holding the head of the bear in her hands, and a decapitated, furry corpse laying just behind her.

" _ **Did you do that with your bare hands?!"**_

Star giggled. "Heh, _Bear_ hands..."

"Hey! Get this chapter started already! People have been waiting long enough!" screams some impatient and rather annoying person who shall not be named because I'm a nice guy.

" _ **Point taken! *Ahem*... And now... Random Comments, with Star Butterfly..."**_

" **How long will you be doing this?"**

Star tosses her bear head off to the side and pats the dust off her clothes.

"That's a good question, but if I were to answer directly, I'd say until everyone's pissed off with me for it."

 **"Again, sorry for the long comments. Which Clown is scarier, Pennywise or the Joker?"**

"First off, sorry for being dickish about your long comments, they're just a bit of a hassle, but that's not your fault. Even though its totally your fault. And secondly, do I seem like someone who'd be afraid of clowns? Do I look five to you?"

Suddenly everyone saw a flashback to episode four of season one, where Marco dresses as a clown to cheer up Star, and it is made quite damn clear Star is scared shitless of clowns.

"Fuck you E1337..."

It's a living.

" **Did you finally solve for C?"**

"Probably. Can't really remember, and I don't plan too!" Star then crab walks out into the distance.

" **(Basically the same question from the previous chapter but Marco and Toffee and such fight for their dimensions freedom and Star's a dictator. Again, keep the questions short!)"**

"If I were a dictator, you say? Are you implying I could fulfil my long awaited dream, the one I've had ever since I was a child?!"

Star then taps herself on the head and grows a small toothbrush moustache and has swastikas replace the hearts on her cheeks. Then, sprouting a military uniform, she runs into the distance screaming " _SEIG HEIL! SEIG HEIL!"_

" **Ever hear of Team FourStar?"**

"The question is, dear child... Should I care? Because no, I haven't."

A quick Google search later...

The Weeaboo alert then kicks in to full gear.

" **When are you marrying Marco? P.S: I followed and favourited."**

"To answer the first half of you're question, we're both far too young to get married, and I'm pretty sure I'll murder him before I start to get romantic with him. To answer the second part..."

There is an awkward silence...

"...Good for you? I appreciate it, sure, but it's not really something to boast about."

" **Who is that voice?"**

"For now, just assume that it's God coming to haunt me for being Hitler a couple questions back."

Once all the comments are then read through, Star hears Marco playing his famous Piano, replacing the orchestral song from the beginning of the chapter.

"Well, guess that's it for this part! I'll be back later folks, and sorry for making you wait longer than usual! Till next time!"

The so called "God" then speaks.

" _ **This has been... Random Comments, with Star Butterfly..."**_


	19. Too Soon

Star Butterfly has been in a coma. Struck down by the valiant efforts of Ludo and his band of misfits. Her fans of her strange fictional podcast thing awaited days... Maybe weeks (I can't really remember at this point) for the next instalment... But alas, it never came...

However, inside Stars mind, she was somehow able to create an astral form that can project into reality (kinda). And with the grace of a gods send, she summons a list of comments from out of nowhere, intending to let the readers know that they were not forgotten, and the insults would continue!

Marco played his grand piano music, it's harmonious sound being a pleasure to listen too. Then, the ominous voice came, his glorious words bei-

"Hey! Chop-chop! We've got a show to run here!" Stars astral projection rudely informed. "I might be half dead, but that doesn't mean you gotta stall this shit. Get a move on!"

What an asshole. Anyway, take it away ominous voice!

" _ **And now... Random comments, with Star Butterfly..."**_

" **Any talents you're good at?"**

"Being a pain in the urethra and a fish outta water... Y'know, now that I think about it, those aren't very useful talents are they?"

" **Hey, how ya doin?"**

"Could be better, kinda in a coma. How about you? Still waiting on those updates for your fics girl!"

" **What would you say is you're preferred gaming genre?"**

We then cut to Star playing A generic FPS and dominating the living shit out of it. No one stood a chance against her, it was like she'd spent countless hours perfecting her strategies. Something that only a person devoted to he genre would do. She then looks at the camera.

"I actually like kinetic visual novels. I find them to be a lot of fun, and quite relaxing. Especially if they're romance based. "

She then goes back to slaying in _Medal of Duty: Advanced Doom._

 **"I'd love to draw art of you doing this podcast of retardation, how do you wanna look In it?"**

"I wanna look fabulous! Put Marco in there, have the Weaboo alert going off! Make it look chaotic and amazing! If I don't see it then I'm going to find you and do some horrible things buddy!"

 _-Hi, SonicE1337 here! I just want you to know that I really do appreciate that you're offering to draw fanart of my fic! I'd love to see it come to fruition, if it's not too much to ask. Again, thank you!_

" **If you were in Friday the thirteenth, without magic, how long do you think you'd survive? Or how do you think Jason Voorhees would kill you?"**

"If I were in Friday the thirteenth, I'd just shoot myself. No way is a generic white girl like me gonna make it outta there alive. But if Jason where to kill me? Well that's a whole different ballgame. What I think he's do is did member me, limb from limb, but do it so I don't die from it. Then he'd slowly cut away at my abdomen, exposing all my innards as I watch with dying breath. Then Marco would konk Jason in the head and he'd use some ex-machina bullshit to fix me up! Right Marco?"

Marco nods. "Not because I want to, but because without her, the shows fucked."

" **I just binged the entire fic and I must say I'm worried about your future subjects."**

Star scoffs. "Puh-lease! My future subjects aren't gonna be that bad. Maybe a few memes here and there, but nothing horrible."

Star then hears obnoxiously loud country music being played outside amongst a large group of people. She looks out of the window with hatred in her eyes and grabs an AR-15 rifle. She then proceeds to aim at the crowd and pulls the trig-

"HOLD UP!" Janna intervenes. She then takes the rifle from Stars hands and throws it against the ground. "Way too soon Star!"

Star then looks at the ground in shame.

" **(Keep the comments short! How many times do I have to say it for fucks sake!) Did you know Marco is the fourth horseman of the apocalypse? And don't challenge him to a competition of sass... HO BOY."**

"Pfffffft! As if! Marco ain't no horseman, let alone someone who'd assist in bringing the apocalypse about! As for the sass thing, he's about as sassy as my mother, and that's really not saying much."

Marco then struts up next to Star, quirking his brow. "Bitch, you realise I've got more sass in my left pinky than you do in yo whole body right? But that's not sayin' much since ya so damn skinny you wouldn't be able to fit any sass in there anyway!" he then walks off with a swing in his hips.

Star just sits there, confused and rather offended. "I'm not even that skinny though."

Piano music then fills the air once more, and Star's astral projection begins to fade away. "Oops! Looks like times up here. Thanks to everyone who left a comment and we'll see you in the next chapter! Buh-bye!"

She then disappeared completely, and Star's comatose body is all that's left. Meanwhile, Marco plays his grand piano once more, and the ominous voice returns.

" _ **This has been... Random comments, with Star Butterfly..."**_


	20. Welcome back Again

Star lazily walks into the room and plops herself into her wheeling chair. She looks exhausted beyond belief, eyes dark and hair in a total mess. She looks at Marcos laptop on his desk, seemingly pondering what to do with it. It's been about seven months since she'd taken a look at the comments left by those who were truly invested in her shitty podcast/webshow/fanfiction thing, and if she were being honest, she didn't really miss it. It was more of a distraction than anything else, but she did enjoy seeing people get in on the joke, whether they were old or new.

At one point, someone even offered to draw fan art of her doing this, and seeing that truly warmed her heart. She had already decided what she was going to do.

With a dejected sigh, she opened up her laptop, and went to the review section for her "show".

"Well", she said, a small smile curving on her lips. "Guess it's time to cue the intro..."

And with that, Marco began playing his grand piano, changing his format a little with sad minor chords. The echo was pleasent, filling the room with a soft sense of welcoming.

" _ **And now... Random Comments, with Star Butterfly..."**_

 **Idol you look up to?**

"If I had someone to say that I really looked up to, I'd have to give it to my mom. I know me and her don't really see eye to eye all the time, but she's truly an inspiration with how much she can handle and still stay sane. Plus, she's my mom. She's a natural role model."

 **Wait you own an AR15? I take it back, all your subjects will be fine if you give them guns.**

"I actually own several. Of course, with all the "culture" that's been happening in the US recently, I should probably get rid of them, just in case I'm put on an FBI watchlist... Again..."

Star then has flashbacks of all the anime she's seen, full of _clearly_ underage children. She then shudders in disgust.

 **Hahahahahahahahahaha "updates" on my stuff. That's funny. Anyway, have fun with your coma!**

"Can I be real with you for a second? I'm gonna go a little out of character here and give you some legitimate thoughts I have. So first things first, I get it. Sometimes we just aren't up and ready for anything. We never really have any motivation or time to do things, so we can't do them and more often than not, we feel guilty for it. I've had my fair share of instances where I couldn't reach a deadline or put out something that was only half-hearted, and to this day I still feel guilty about it. We all make promises we can't keep, and sometimes it's bites us in the ass. That's why my boss decided he would only upload when he felt motivated. That way he doesn't have deadlines, he doesn't have any pressure put on him, he just has himself and his life. Quite frankly I suggest more people take up this mentality, since just continually hashing things out for the sake of it, with no benefit, is incredibly exhausting. If you don't wanna upload, but your audience thinks you should, I suggest you put them out of the picture if you want to ensure you do the best work you possibly can. After all, you're the one who's ultimately in control. Take your time girl. I want to see you be the best you can be."

Marco stares in awe at Star, his jaw slacked in sheer surprise. Star just nervously chuckles and shrugs. "Depression gives you a lot of perspective on things."

"It really does!" SonicE1337 yells from down the hall.

 **I just read all of it and I have no idea how to react lol. Good work? Haha, keep it up. I'm enjoying some of these.**

"Well, there's more to come! Hope you're ready for a wonderful ride down shit-fuck lane, cos that's where we're heading! And thanks dude, I appreciate it!"

 **Which is better? Star wars The Clone Wars or Star Wars Rebels? Also, you should let Janna be a part of the show more, we don't get enough of her.**

"I've only seen The Clone Wars, so that one is better by default. I was really into the show back when it aired, too bad I can't remember half of it."

Suddenly, Janna pops her head up next to Star, causing her to scream in fright.

"I wish I were part of the show more too kid, but we gotta remember that if I appeared more, I wouldn't be as special a character." She then sinks black down to the floor, vanishing out of view.

Star is left scared and confused.

 _ **"This has been... Random Comments, with Star Butterfly..."**_

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Heya guys and gals, it's me. The author. Y'know, the guy who writes these? Anyway, I just wanted to say that the next time I'll be uploading a chapter to this series, I'll be answering some questions. So if there's anything you want to know about me, or just want to contribute to the story, leave something in the review section of the fic, I'll answer all of them, unless I feel they should be left unanswered. That's all for now, so toodles!


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